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    Happy Christmas!

    December 24, 2009

    T’was the night before Christmas, I swung on the hook
    With snowflakes a’landing, asleep with my book.
    When up on the deck I heard footsteps and stuff.
    “I’ve been boarded!” I thought, and I need to be tough.
    Then down the companionway hatch came a dude,
    He was dressed like a nut and I thought, “I’m so screwed.”
    But he laughed and he hummed as he surveyed my junk,
    So I figured he must be the resident drunk.

    His eyes were lit up like a junkie on speed,
    But he gave me a whole bunch of stuff that I need,
    Like rum and red wine and new charts and a dinghy
    And some kind of fancy electrical thingy.

    I knew it was stolen but I wasn’t telling,
    I just hoped he was giving and wasn’t just selling.
    So I poured him a grog which he downed with a wink
    Then I poured one for me (Lord I needed a drink!)

    “Thanks!” he said, then he crawled back up deck
    and I went to the hatch just to spy on this wreck.

    He staggered aft to the dark snowy night,
    As I peeked I beheld an incredible sight:
    Eight tiny dolphins and a beautiful sleigh.
    And the dude hopped aboard and prepared to make way.

    The dolphins were ready to power the sled,
    But the guy raised a genny and mains’l instead.
    With a burp and a chuckle he gathered the breeze
    And called to the dolphins, now swimming with ease:

    “Yo Harry and Jamesie, newEd and Tony!
    Or Robert and Simon, Niamh and Cathy!

    “Yo Hickey and Franco and Seamus and Cally!
    Or Louis and Butler and Creighton and Suzie!
    “Hey Fungi and Bertie and Dustin and Nixon!
    Or Michael and Pat the Cope, Mason, and Dixon!

    Or whatever your names are, you cute little fishes,
    Here’s to every last sailor, my best Christmas wishes!”

    As he sailed away leaving a wobbly wake,
    I hoped he had not many stops left to make.
    He got close to shore and he soon was aground,
    But the dolphins proceeded to pull him around.
    And I heard him exclaim as he sailed out of sight
    “Happy Christmas to all… and to all a goodnight”


    With apologies to Clement Clark Moore.  Or, perhaps not?

    Topics: Miscellany | Comments Off on Happy Christmas!

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